lines2 = new Array(38)
lines2[0] = "The Snellinators tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."
lines2[1] = "Rather than being birthed like a normal child, The Snellinator instead decided to punch his way out of his mothers womb."
lines2[2] = "The Snellinator built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, The Snellinator met all three bullets with his chin, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement."
lines2[3] = "The Snellinator sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled Golfing ability.  Shortly after the transaction was finalized, The Snellinator clubbed the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month."
lines2[4] = "The Snellinator recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull."
lines2[5] = "A man once asked The Snellinator if his real name is Colin. The Snellinator did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded."
lines2[6] = "To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. The Snellinator smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong."
lines2[7] = "The Snellinator does not sleep. He waits"
lines2[8] = "The Snellinator can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying Booya"
lines2[9] = "The Snellinator once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, Bang!"
lines2[10] = "The chief export of The Snellinator is pain"
lines2[11] = "After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending The Snellinator.  His reasoning? It was more humane"
lines2[12] = "The Snellinator is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.  The makers of Pinky and Perky are currently countering a similar claim regarding his arms."
lines2[13] = "If you can see The Snellinator, he can see you. If you can't see The Snellinator you may be only seconds away from death"
lines2[14] = "One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by The Snellinator."
lines2[15] = "Hellen Keller's favorite color is The Snellinator."
lines2[16] = "The Snellinator doesn’t see dead people. He makes people dead."
lines2[17] = "The Snellinator scores 78 in Scrabble."
lines2[18] = "The Snellinators stare can command animals and woodland folk."
lines2[19] = "The Snellinator once slept his way through the entire line of Miss World contestants and 3 of the nights Hosts.  Each and every one of them was immensely satisfied."
lines2[20] = "As the Snellinator breathes, the tides move in perfect synergy."
lines2[21] = "The Snellinator invented 'the lap'.  Before he came along people were unable to sit down and had to lean against upright surfaces using a strong plank of wood known as 'a proppie!'"
lines2[22] = "He had a promising career in pop music: unfortunately the partnership of Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and The Snellinator was short-lived due to artistic differences."
lines2[23] = "The Snellinator taught Yoda everything he knows!"
lines2[24] = "The Moon was chosen by the Snellinator. If he tires of it, he may change it for a different one"
lines2[25] = "The Snellinator is the e in e=mc2"
lines2[26] = "The Snellinator put the Ram in Ramalamadingdong"
lines2[27] = "Doug Mclure was terrorised by The Snellinator in 'The Land that Time Forgot' "
lines2[28] = "It is a little known fact that Kryptonite is actually forged from the congealed nasal residue of The Snellinator"
lines2[29] = "Ancient theories said that the Earth is flat and held on the Snellinator’s shoulders. Future generations will show this to be true."
lines2[30] = "Scientists recently discovered a lost village deep in the Welsh valleys, where shell suits are still the height of fashion and it's inhabitants worship an ancient god they know as 'The Snellinator'"
lines2[31] = "The study of the Snellinator, known as the science of Snelliocology, is studied in prestigious scholastic institutions across the globe."
lines2[32] = "The last person who dissed the Snellinator was found six weeks later. He had been dried, shrunk and turned into a pendant around a Calcuttan orphan’s neck."
lines2[33] = "The Snellinator is allowed to talk about Fight Club."
lines2[34] = "There is no theory of evolution, its just a list of animals The Snellinator allows to live"
lines2[35] = "Superman wears The Snellinator pyjamas"
lines2[36] = "The Snellinator drives an Ice Cream truck covered with Human Skulls"
lines2[37] = "When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for The Snellinator"
var c = Math.random()*(37);
var i = Math.round(c);
document.write(lines2[i]);